Life talk

I’m back at home this year, serving my days till I get my degree and a decent job. Parents. Long story. So I make a cup of strong coffee, take out my lappie and write whilst playing The Reminder album by Feist with a stack of magazines on the other side. It’s the one thing that gets me on an instant happy-high, my journey into owning a fashion magazine, clothing line, modelling agency, fashion institute; basically being a fashion mogul gets me going. I once read that there is no formal point at which growing up begins; you have all the information but absolutely no experience with which to judge any of it. I have questions that filter through my thoughts, things people have said to me and those which have been said about me. Not forgetting questioning what the future holds of course and how things will turn out. It’s pretty hard not to take in things at this age, one is like a sponge that sucks in spilt water; be it clean or not.

I’m 21 going on 22 in a months’ time and boy will I tell you that my experiences are nothing like yours. Firstly, I am a bubbly soul and love people-especially kids, their true nature and ability to love without condition simply fascinates me. I love travelling and enjoy writing and relating to anything I read –though I don’t read much but magazines, motivational books and blogs. Fashion and new things keep me on my toes; I drool in my sleep and take about 30mins to take a shower after a long sweaty jog in the afternoons (sometimes I even let it dry off on me-disgusting I know). I prefer Yoghurt to chocolate and think apples are tacky. Presentations are my thing especially given something I love and know. That’s just me, an undercover romantic. One would think that I’m a pretty decent soul just by looking at me and hearing me speak, I can be quite impressive once you let me in (hahaha). Getting older for me doesn’t involve saying goodbye to adventures and dreams it’s definitely not saying Green Cross instead of Aldo and receiving funeral cover mail more than Facebook notifications nor is it anywhere near changing who I am.

I come from a family of pastors where you as a child are somewhat forced to live a life that’s pleasing to God and the folks, God first and the rest is history. Literally. See I’ve gotten so use to being told what to do and how to go about doing it that it no longer bothers me physically but still silently frustrates me emotionally. I am on the other hand thankful for the Godly ways I have been taught and have personally grown to love, find ground and life in Jesus though certain things pertaining to Christianity and how my parents define it still linger in my brain. Varsity life on the other hand has been totally uber, getting to know and test myself whilst also living a champagne life on a shoe-string budget as I kick sleep to the curve on those Friday & Saturday nights living motherless and still making it to church the very next morning (thanks to my young super hero body which still regenerates itself within an hour of waking even after being taken on a high and Heineken rides!) Making lifelong good friends, finding love and haters, role-models and the perfect examples of what not to be; it’s the epitome of life. There really is joy in living youth days to the full even though life isn’t always sunshine and roses as you stand outside the windows of 26 and learn the lessons of life as they unfold themselves before you without hint.
This year is going to be a very responsible one seeing as I’ll be spending it at home studying online, I’m to ask for permission if I want anything and know not bother with most things cause the answer will be no. twenty two doesn’t scare my folks nor does wearing a D cup size bra or growing facial hair (well, for my brother that is). “A cat is born with whiskers” my mother would say as reminder that growth isn’t in age or physical changes! So what do I do? Well firstly, wait in anticipation for March so I can get going with college work and have full internet access which for me spells BLOGGING!!! (Yey). I look forward to taking life seriously and waking up to an assignment and having a valid excuse when I don’t feel like cooking, something I didn’t really give a toot about in the past; I also have a drivers licence to complete and a (now) distance relationship to maintain (lol) till end November where I’ll be free again (air punch).

2weeks back my BlackBerry broke! #DEATH BY NO SOCIAL NETWORKING OR INTERNET!, something to do with software they said, now the fucked up part is that I no longer have the slip of purchase –it must be the moving around that got me losing my stuff- without that slip I can’t take my phone back to the dealer to get it fixed at no cost so I’ve handed the matter over to my boyfriend who will see to it that he does all that he can to get me my life back Since my parents refuse to cash in and help me fix my “Berry” because of my constant habit of talking to them with my head down . Its frustrating being BlackBerry-less! Waking up in the morning to check my emails, BBM (BlackBerry Messenger) and notifications has become a thing of the past and not to mention being without Google for more than a week! How the hell do I function?! Flippin’ torturous! I wouldn’t wish that upon even my worst enemy. It’s true what they say about people becoming slaves/obsessed with their phones be it a BB (BlackBerry), HTC, iPhone or any other smart phone for that matter; life without the QWERTY keyboard is very lonely. I’m already living with the parents far from the city and not connecting with the world is really hard seeing as not so many people deem me worthy of an 80c SMS or R15 call! Now take all that and coincide it with having nothing to do for until March…SIGH. SCREAM. PULL MY HAIR OUT. READ A MAGAZINE.SLEEP. DIE IN MY SLEEP.

It’s funny though, though it hurts. When was the last time you waited for the clock to strike 8pm in order to make a call, a cheap one at that! Or dial *121*…# and send a please call me; better yet personalise it first! Lol My word! Talk about annoying and ancient! Those who make an effort to get a hold of me now, are those have something very important to say –unlike on BBM where one can just easily leave a random note just because they can, probably someone with a personality of chalk at that -idiot. My Berry is dearly missed and for real…that red flickering notification light that makes me feel loved and that yellow-green one that reminds me to charge and keep on clicking…Aaah (sigh), my FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is getting worse and though I know I can’t physically join my friends in Durban as they do their usual Friday and Saturday night outs but being with them in BBM and Facebook Spirit was well enough for me. All I do is sit and pray that she’s fixed and good to come back to me so I can stop with the sulking and get with the socialising, putting my twitching fingers to good use. Gone are the days when Blackberries and Apples were just fruits!

I’m two pages down and can’t believe I’ve been typing and giving myself off to caffeine for the past two hours now, I guess when there’s that strong urge to express one cannot help but to get expressing. All I have is this internet-less laptop, an empty coffee stained mug in front of me and a mind full of thought, its depressing, I want to call my boyfriend and like any loving and caring parent ask how my phone is doing but I can’t until 8pm tonight (perks of being a broke-cheap-skate)…sucks being me right now. On the contrary everything deserves a break, whether from studies or social networks, parties or city life, we all need a bit of closing in at times to meditate on the past and draw strength for the future. It may not be fun doing so as we get attached to conforming to the norm but like I always say, change is good and too much of a good thing… you know the rest (even though that can be debatable). Life is easier with technology but it shouldn’t be the reason to live. Guess this is just another informal point at which I’m finding growth.